December 10, 2017 by Patrick Starks
There me and Alexis stood. Her eyes were watery, and her hair was damp. She would move in closer to me with her size 6 vans, as her friend Miranda waited patiently for what she believed would be a kodak moment, or fireworks. I hadn’t talked to Alexis for weeks, for months, at least not after our big breakup; although, I did have my reasons, two important reasons to be exact—Linda, and the fact that Alexis was…
“So… I mean… Sorry about the car, I didn’t mean to scare you. Um… how are you?” Alexis nervously said. I of course said nothing, there was nothing to talk about—any attraction that I ever had for her were now just faded memories, they were all out the window.
“Look… Chase, I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, but I’m really sorry okay… for like, everything.” A wet pair of lips washed the side of my face, and the smell of cotton candy briskly pulled from my nose. Tears began to poor as they had always done, more than anyone could ever know .
“I still love you, you do know that don’t you. I still miss your pudgy little chipmunk cheeks, I miss the way you make me laugh…” Alexis cried and cried, but I still couldn’t say a thing. My heart had been broken by her to many times—all trust was gone. However, through it all, I can honestly say that she did make me stronger. Without all the heartache that was given to me, I really don’t know how I would have survived this life without having met her, although, maybe I would be with Linda now if I hadn’t.
“What are you thinking about… C-can you please just talk to me, just say something Chase, please. Don’t push me away, I’m still here for you. You know that you can talk to me about anything.” I heard her, loud and clear. Part of me wanted to be nice and give a poor soul like hers a chance, but I doubted her soul was poor at all. Alexis did what she did because that was what she enjoyed. She found pleasure out of it, literally, and as much as I denied it, that was just who she was. After a moment of awkward silence, Alexis embarrassingly walked back to her nineteen ninety-nine Honda Civic, towards a car full of laughter.
“Hahaha! Girl I told you he don’t want you no mo!” Miranda laughed with a mouth full of metal, and a face full of glitter.
“Oh, shut the hell up M, at least I got a man or at least had one. You don’t know shit, I’ll get my chasey facey wacey back soon enough. That I can promise you.”
“Um… What’s a…”
“Just drive bitch!”
After being so rudely interrupted, I finally breached the doors of my house—aka sanctuary. It was dim, and incredibly loud. The sound of grenades, machine guns, and Schwarzenegger in the background yelling, ‘Come on! Do it! Kill me! I’m right here! Do it now!” was enough to know that dad had passed out watching his Friday night action films again. Hysterically, he would always watch the same one. Mom was upstairs I believe, passed out like dad, but not from the movie, but from all the trick or treaters she served candy to that day—sad to say, but my heroes were getting old—Louis and Clark were now retired.
I eventually made it to my room. I had forgotten about all the pictures of me and Linda I had on the wall, some would have called it a trine more than anything, but call it what you want, love was love. I looked at every one of them, all the good times we had now gone; just the smell of my pillow made my soul cry—I knew I could never get her, or that scent back. I never really learned how to do deal with the pain, or accept the possibility that she could have taken her own life, and if I still wondered why. I was frustrated, sad, lonely, and the thought of her being gone was something that made reflect on why I was here, why I existed if I couldn’t have her by my side. Why would she leave me, did she not love me?
So, I ripped them all down, every last one of them, one photo at a time. When your alone, when your by yourself, that’s when you really see everything for what it is—who you are, what the people around you mean, and what the world means to you all together. In that moment, I got a very good taste of what it felt like to be truly fragile. I passed out just as my mom and dad, while my shirt remained drenched in sadness. Before I could even process it all in the nightmares I would have, it was eight a.m., Saturday morning. The pictures I tore from the walls were still all over the floor; I gave them all one more glance, for my heart, for my eyes to adore. I was still surrounded by Linda. Out of all the memories there was one picture that caught my eye the most, one I never really noticed until now. It of course had Linda in it, as well as myself, but there was something else in the image, something I couldn’t make out. It was like a shadow or some sort. Like smoke or mist. It was holding Linda, with its arms wrapped tightly around her waist as I would do.
I grabbed the photo, gargled a cup of a Listerine, and rushed down to the Sheriff’s office.
“Hey! Chase where are you going so early?” mom asked.
“Umm.. to Brandon’s we were going to hit the arcade early before the rest of the kids get there.”
“Oh… okay well be careful out there, and tell Brandon to stop by every now and then. I know he’s going through a lot, we all are, but we will all get through it.”
“Yeah, sure mom…”
“Aren’t you forgetting something.”
I gave mom a kiss on the cheek and she gave me a big one back. I plunged through the door.
“Hey! Don’t break the door, and when you get back home clean your room. I didn’t raise a pig.”
There was no time to wait for the bus, so I took my only means of transportation—my old tricycle from fifth grade. I pedaled for like three minutes before becoming winded; my parents wouldn’t be the only one’s that were getting old. I was close to the station, about two more blocks, but then got stopped by a bunch of cocks—the Watson brothers, Andre and Chris. I didn’t have that much of a problem with Chris, but the Andre… that was another story.
“Well, well, well. Look who we got here. Whoa! Slow down my friend just wanna chat, you know, like old times.”
“Get out of my way Andre, before I do it for you.”
“Wow… your still pissed aren’t. Come on man. We didn’t do nothing, and besides it was fucking party man. All chicks available for the broskee’s. Mi casa es su casa.”
“Funny, never knew that a girl was a representation of the house.”
“Oh, chill the fuck out man, you know what the hell I mean. But I swear on my mother’s life nothing happened. Tell em Chris!”
“Then your mothers probably not far from her grave with that bullshit of an act.”
Andre didn’t say another word. His fist clinched, only to leave a black ring around my eye.
“You little shit I was trying to be nice. You know what fuck it! Alexis was good, she was really good, even Chris had a piece of that ass.”
“Shut the hell up Chris. Nobody asked you to agree. But you know what, it’s a shame we didn’t get a piece of that Linda of yours, man she had a nice ass, what a…”
My tip of my foot hit between Andre’s family jewels, as well as a wad of spit to his forehead. I left my bike and pedaled like hell.
“Your dead! Y-y-you, you hear me, dead! D! E! Oh, Chris! Why you just standing there, get em!”
“Oh, Never mind. Help me up dimwit”
After a few yards of sprinting, I made it to the Sheriffs station. The sheriff looked angry, and tired all at once. Every Halloween the rest of the kids would prank the poor sheriff—tee peeing her car, and leaving mainour outside the entrance of the station. I pleaded with the sheriff telling her that it wasn’t a prank and that I had proof. I reached down to my back pocket, even reached between my cheeks a little, but it was gone.
Why everything in my life became more difficult, I will never know, but all that matter was that I solved the mystery any means necessary—Linda, would never be forgotten.